Film-making whether it be a Hollywood block buster or low budget adult film is hard enough. It's a bit like a magic trick. The producer is the magician in his top hat and tails. He is the showman that is going to amaze you. He pulls up his sleeves and smiles with confidence, just to tease you how good his trick is going to be. He waves his magic wand and hay presto he sticks his hand in to his top hat and pulls out... A BIG FAT NOTHING. That's right A BIG FAT NOTHING.
I just don't understand it. I have been working on this production for weeks. I had the production costs. I made hours of endless phone calls to book my cameraman, lights, location, male model, female model and make up artiste. The cameraman could do the 15th but not the 16th. The female model could do the 16th but has to re-new her test on the 15th. The location I could only have on the 14th or 17th and the lights I got back at 11am this morning because me being a nice producer loaned them to a good friend who was suppose to bring them back last week. What the hell has gone wrong with my production?
Is it something on the level of an Einstein equation? Is it something I have missed? Or is it something that I said to someone to piss them off. Think, Think, THINK? The day of the shoot is here, the crew are set up and the stud is hard. Oh no it has just clicked. It is something really simple. Something really simple indeed. The female model has not shown up and her phone is switched off. Bugger, bugger, bugger.
All that time, money and effort I have put into my film production and it has all gone down the tube because the female model can't be bothered to let me know that she cannot make it to my shoot. Maybe her mum is ill? Maybe her cat got run over? maybe her house fell down? Sorry to say I have heard it all before. The truth is she has been out partying all night, downing Vodka and coke and earning more money from her escort job than I as a humble adult film producer could pay!... and as the female model always says "what the hell it's only porn!"

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